Navigating the Pain of Rejection: Discovering God's Next Steps for Your Life

Being overlooked hurts.

I can still vividly recall standing in a line of boys during school lunchtime as two captains picked their soccer teams. I wasn’t the star athlete, but I certainly didn’t think I was the worst. And yet, as names were called and the line grew shorter, my confidence shrank with it. Then it happened, I was left as the one unchosen.

That moment stuck with me. The feeling of being unseen, undervalued, or somehow not enough is something many of us carry well beyond the schoolyard. It’s one reason I resonate so deeply with Leah’s story in Genesis 29 and 30. Leah wasn’t chosen either - at least, not in the way she longed to be. Her husband Jacob loved her sister Rachel. Leah was a pawn in a family arrangement, and she suffered deeply because of it. She tried to earn love through her children, hoping that somehow her efforts would be enough to capture Jacob’s heart. Yet time and time again, she was disappointed.

But then there’s a moment of beauty tucked away in Genesis 29:35 when Leah gives birth to her fourth son, Judah, and says, “This time I will praise the Lord.”  She had shifted her focus, not on what she didn’t have, but on who God is. It wasn’t denial of her pain, but a declaration of God’s goodness in the middle of it.

I see a similar narrative in the New Testament. After Jesus ascends to heaven, the disciples are left with a gap - Judas is gone, and they need a twelfth. In Acts 1:21-26, Peter lays out the requirements: someone who had walked closely with Jesus from the beginning of his ministry. Only two men meet the criteria: Matthias and Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus).

The disciples pray for divine guidance, cast lots as per the culture of the day, and Matthias is chosen. And Justus? Well, he fades into the background, and is never mentioned again in the biblical account. I’ve often wondered what he thinking in that moment? He had given so much to the cause of Christ. He had walked the journey, met the qualifications, done the work—and yet was left.  I’m sure that had to sting.

And yet, perhaps there’s something redemptive here. Maybe Justus’ story invites us into a deeper truth: God's calling on your life isn't confined to difficult outcomes. Not being picked doesn’t mean you’re not purposed. God’s plan for you doesn’t derail just because someone else was chosen for a position you hoped for.

That’s the invitation - when we feel overlooked, like Leah or Justus, we are given an opportunity. Not to spiral into self-pity, but to ask: “Lord, if not this… then what?”

That question may be asked through tears, yet can still be an act of praise if it says: God, I trust Your character more than my hurt and circumstance. I believe You haven’t dropped the ball with my life. I still choose You.

The pain of being overlooked is real. It may take time to process, to grieve, and to heal. But in that sacred space, like Leah, we can choose to praise. Praise not based on how things appear, but based on who God is - faithful, sovereign, and endlessly good.

So, if you’re feeling passed over, forgotten, or unchosen today, you’re not alone. And you’re not out of options.

You are still seen. You are still called. You are still God’s. Let that truth lead you to whisper, even through the disappointment: This time, I will praise the Lord.” And then ask Him, with open hands and a surrendered heart:

“Lord, what’s next?”